breaking bad fic
by wendydirection
Summary: jesse suspects walter is having an affair with hank. lover saul goodman finds walt in the nude.
1. Chapter 1

Waltw as ANGRY. Well no he wasn't. but he was furstrated. It was all that damn Jessies fault!

It ass started when Walt saul Jessie fall out of that meth house window. It had been years since there paths had crost and Walt had all but forgot about the spikey haired little twerp. he wouldn't even have gone after the kid in the first place but then he learned he had cancar and well how else was a genus chesmist going to make money? GDI walt thought. And to think he could have saved himself hundreds of thosands of dollards in college tuetion fees if only he had been smart enogh to invent meth.

Well anyway that was where Jessie came in.

Jesse pacman aka walts fourmer student was fed up with Walt or mr. white as he always called him. Alt was always calling jessei stupid and yelling at him about how he msesed everytihng up. But JESSE was the one who knew the bizness and now his meth was just as good as waltz.

Now though, Jessie was scayred. Walt wanted him to kill Gail bettecher but gale was a harmless nerdy little man, jessie never wanted to kill anyone. He just wanted to make money, eat pizza and hang out with badgere and skinny peat. Also maybe have a girlfreind that walt didnt kill. But now, walt wanted HIM to do the killing and to shot Gail. Jesse didn't know what to do. One one hand, he and wallet worked well together. But on the other hand, gayle was a much nicer nerd then walt and didn't yell at him. he just sang in italian and drank form his elaborite coffee machine.

This conflicked stayed in jessies' mind as he hid out in the abrandoned lazer tag store. in his hand he held a GUN.

sudenly, the sound of footsteps. Jessie groped his gun tigter, aiming at nothing much. Out of the shadows emurged walt clothed in his usual meth cooking outfit but without the underwears.

"yo, what the fuck Jessie said. "why the fuck are you naked?"

"I have a job to do " walt repled. "but its not worth it if I cant be with you"

"what the fuck are you talking about!" Jessie exclamed. "I thougt we were meeting to discust the gall problem!"

"yes… ." gale is a problem walter said. "he makes better cofee then me. I can tell you like his coffee better then mine and thats not ok!" by now walt was yeling.

Was this about coffee? or was this about ssomething more? Jessie was confused. Also why was walt nayked. not that jessie minded, in facked he had grown used to walt just being in his underwear all the time, but he was surpised to see he was compleatly 100% in no clothes. except his heisenbrrg hat of coarse. and shoes.

"Yo, mr. white, i like your coffee, i mean, your coffee is the best. yeah, gails is pretty good, but yours is nuber 1, man." even though jessie was the one with the gun he was a litlte scared by the ANGRY GLAIR on walts face. all he wanted to do was figured out what to do wabout gale and now Mr White was freaking out!

sudanly a frantic Knock came n the door. it was sall goodman their loyer. "I got bad news for you guise," Saul said, pulling on his brightly coolored tie. but before either Wlat or jessie could ask, what the bad news was, Walts brother in law DEA AGENT HANK SCHRADER! byurst through the door.

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STAY TRUNED! MORE TO COME!


	2. Chapter 2

LAST TIM EON BREAKING BAD FIC. WALTER AND JEESIE AND SAUL ARE HAVING A SECRET MEETING AND THEN HANK!

THANK YOU FOR YOUR REVIEW!

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"JESUS CHRIST GOODMAN! SOMEBODY STOLE MY MINERALS!" just then hank caught site of jesse "PINKMAN! DID YOU TAKE MY MINERALS!"

Jessie strayed at Hank with eyes like cukumbers. "Yo, what the fuck, man. who invited him"? his gays turned to Walt. "DID YOU INVITE HIM? DID YOU LEeD HIM HERE?" Wasn't that just the pot calling the kettel black. Walt had no white to be jelous when he was sneeking around with that DAE agent. "YO MR WHITE! I'm TALKING TO YOU!"

Walt stamered. "Now Jessie wait a mintue."

"NO YOU WAIT A MINUTE BITCH" Jessie yelt. "Tell me the truth! your getting his rocks off behind my back arenet you!"

"THEY'RE MINERRALS!" Hank yelt angierly.

"Hey lets just all callm down " Saw attempted to butt in but nobedy listend to him as usual.

"Jessie , no. I am not having a affare with Hank" Walt said tryeing to get Jessie off his back (so he cold get him on his back later lol).

"You expect em to be live that, bitch?" jESSE replied. "when you invite him to are secret meeting where you HAPPEN to be naked?!"

Walts eyes nearly opped out of his sockits. How could jessie be so STUPID not to see that he, walter hartwell white, was in love with jesse bruce pinkman. Why was waslt even in love with somebody so stupid! It was a myseriy. But anyway walt tired to actually take sawl's advise and clam down. When he opened his mouth to talk again it was in a slow, firm, tone trying to keep out the expasperation.

"jesse." walt said. very. slowly. I am not in love with my brother in law. I. am in love with YOU. '

Jesse was taken a back. "whoa, mr. White. what are you saying." this was news to him. All this time Walt had yelled at him and told him how stupid and useleses he was and undernath that all was love? it made no sense. maybe it was some weird science.

"Jesus Christ, Marie, what the fuck is going on here," hank said, but marie was not there to respond, she was out shoplifting at the mall.

"Mr. Schrader, you're not gonna find your rocks, I mean minerals, in here. You mite want to try looking in your bathroom. i hear bathrooms are a good place to find things." Saul said to the angry deea agent. Grumbling in fruitstration, Hnack left the lazer tag place and drove home.

"Well, now that we got that sorbeted out, do you two mind telling me why your standing around here having a lovers quarell instead of figring out what to do about the fact that GUS FRING WANTS YOU KILLED?" the lawer addressed the two meth markers.

"YO IF GUS WANTS TO KILL WALT HES GONNA HAE TO GO THROUGH ME" Jessie bust out in a suden display of possessve passion.

"Well he will, im pretty sure gUS would have killed you like three years ago if Walt wasn't protectrng you" Saul sakd. "So lets get down to breast taxes and figure out a plan to keep you guyses money- I mean yow both, safe. What do you prupose Walt?"

Walt bent over on one kinee. "Jessie. I knuwo our relation ship has been ….. wild, to say the leanst. I have lied with you and betraid you and even killed the woman you loved but now you k now why I did all that. Well at lest you know why I killed June." He said. "jesse I just want to be with you. Will you merry me?"

"Yyes, bitch" Jessie replied.

Saul brust into tears. "As beutiful as this is, walt you cant get married."

"And why is that" walter axed turning to Sal with anger.

"Your already marred, " Saul answered. "It would be a legal dillemma much worse than money landring and making meth."

Walt was furrious. Why did he still have to be married to skylark? now he cant marry jessie unless he gets a divorced. if only you had glistened to skyler whan she asked for a divorce in the first place, when she found out you were a math cook, a voice inside his head said. "SHUT UP!" Walt yelled ot loud to the voice inside his head, starterling both Jesse and Sawul.

"Uh, , maybe we should, you know, wait and finger out all this stuff later? I mean, gus is trying to kill us, and we still need to decied what to do about Gail, but like, later we can, you know, take care of all the legal stuffs so we can get married." Jessie was still in shock that walt had propposed to him, but he figured, they spent so many hours cooking meth together anyway, might as well be married, right? Plus he was satrting to be attracted to walt's comlete nakenedness.

Walt composted himself. "Gale. RIght." He sighed. "jesse you are goina have to kill him there is no way around it. if that little man replaces ME, the great Hiesenburg, as his meth cook, everything will be ruined! all the hard work that I DID TO MAKE THE BEST CRYSTAL METH EVER SEEN will crumble like pastries. we H AVE TO STOP HIM."

"Jesus, will you put some effing PANTS on?" Saul said. Unlike jesse who was enjoying the veiw, Saul was respulsed by it.

"Why saul?" walt shmoozed. "fEELING a little inadiquit?"

"Yes, Wault that's exactly it" saul said. " your enormous penis is making it imposuble for me to consentrate on the situation at hand."

Walk smirked and pulled some tighty whitys out of nowhere, sliping them on so that Saul wold shut the fuck up.

"yo, I have a plan" Jeses pinkman spoke up. "let's rob a train."

STAY TUNED FOR MORE


	3. Chapter 3

Sail blinked. "What-"

"ENOUGH OF THIS" walt brust out. "THE ONLY WAY TO DEFEAT UGS IS TO SPAM HIS WEBSITE."

"what?" saul repeated.

"The Polos website obciously" walt said. "alL we have to do is give Los Poyos Hermanos bad reviews until fianly gus realizes he has to close down an d feels the country. Its a brilliant plan!"

"Alredy on it Mr White" jesse said pulling up the site on his phone. "I'm gona write some bad shit. Let's see….. 'your chicken is dry.' 'ugly tables 0/10 would not recomand.' 'run by mexican cartel' if this doesn't sacred away customers I'm out of ideas, yo."

Sall cold not believe how dense Walt and Jessse were being. Gus Fringe was a dangerust man and he wnated to KILL THEM and they're solution was to post bad revbies on his website? no way. The layawayer was about to just leave these two idiots beehind to bet themselfes kiled but then he remembered they have a LOT OF MONEY to give him so he stayed.

"uh guys, not trying to rain on your pared here but i dont think this is gonna keep you a live." saul said. Wallt looked up from his second sell phone in alarm. 'WHAT DO YOU MEAN" he shouted. how dare saul question him! he was the grate heisenberg!

"Yeah, Mr, White this is fun and all, but we still have to figure out what to do about Gail. It might take a white for the bad revewis to effect Mr. Fring. and I dont want him to kill us before we even get to get married" Jessie said, hopping that the mention of their futchure wedding would make Walts' science brain think of a sollution.

Walt sighted. GDI he had been trying tos hard to keep his hands clean. NO MORE BLOOD he had said way back when Craze 8ball was on his merderus rampage and shit and then locked in jessie's basement with a bike locked around his nexk. But now he could not think of a solutin. Except to kill Gael without blood. But dran it Jessie always kept his ricen cigarette with him and Walt coldn't think of a way to steal it when Jesse wasn't looking. like the kid was awalsy smoking, like every ten secounds. Walts brain could not think of another way to do it.

"Were just goingt o have to kill him" Walt said sobrely.

SAUL covered his hands with his ears. "LALALALALA I CAN THEAR YOU."

"listen Jessie." Walt said. "I hate to put this on you but Skelyer is already suspicus enough. If I shoot Gale in brode daylight she will definetely catch on to us! Then shell devorce me and take half my money," walt said with a sad face.

"Uh, so don't do it in brode daylight?" jESSIE said.

"NO IT HAS TO BE IN BRODE DAYLIGHT" walt replied angrietly. It is essential to the plot!

"well its knight time now, mr. White! so what are we gonna do? Mr. FRing has people loking for us right now, we have to do something!"

"JUST LISTEN TO ME!" Walt pleided to his loved one. "Last time we killed people it was at night and now gust is after us. So if we do it in the daytime it will be a sucess!" he couldnt see how this plan was not fool proof to jessie but then again Jesse was a fool, so maybe thats why he didn't see what a genies plan it was.

Just then someone burset through the door it was Mike hairmantrout. "Gus wants to see you two." Shoving sawul aside like a piece of looseleaf paper he grabed Jesse by his shirt and Walt by his neck scruff and draaaaaaaged them out throwing them in the trunc of his car and drivving away to the laundry where the meth lab was undreneath.

"Shit MR White" Jessie said. "This is really bad news yo"


	4. Chapter 4

Jesse and Walt were uncomfroetably squeezed together in the back of miKE'S car. It almost would have bene romantic for the two logers but unfortunately Mike's presence was like a cold shower. Well that and the fact that they were about to be kiled.

"LISTEN JESSE" Walt said loadly. He redused his voice to a whisper when he ralized that his plot would be foyled if Mike over heard. Dam that mike always runiing things. like his erection.

"Listen im going to do some sciense shit" walt said puling out his chemistry set that he always caries around wit him. "Whne mike open s the trunk he will be blunded by this smoke bomb. thEN we have to run off to kill Gale!"

"YEAH SCIENCE-" wait Jessie said. "kill him? I thout you said we could only kill him dring the day."

"Well that ship has saled " Walt replied. "He has to die now or elts its going to be us being dissolved in hidroflooric acid!"

"No way yo" Jesse repled. "we alredy fucked up my bathtub with t hat shit I cant aford another one."

Walt sighed. "Jess-e," he said. "If we get disolved by that acid, you wont HAVE to buy another bathtub bec ause WE WILL BE DEAD." how could someone so smart as him be in love with someone so stupid as Jessie. Love was a sicence even walt could not understand.

"Well then hurry up and do something smart so we can get out of here!" Jesse yelled back at him.

'I JUST EXPLANED THE PLAN TO YOU FIVE MINUETS AGO!" walt's face tuned red with range but he struggled to clam himself down reminding himself that their lives were at steak. He lowered his voice to a wisper again. "I have a smoak bomb that I will realease as soon as Mike opens the trunk. Then we will escape and go kill Gale. There no time anymore to wait until during the day. We have to kill him NOW. DO YOU UNDERSTAND.

"yeah, Mr. white, I get it." Jesse said. sudanly the car pulled to a stop. awlt prepared the smoke bom and was ready to let it go as soon as the trunk opened, but after a few minutes past, nobody came to open the trunk. Walt was starting to worry. Smoke bombs didnt hold for very long and he was a fraid it would go off while he and Jessie were stuck insid.

PSST mr White." jessie said. "What's the deal? Why aren't guess and his friends coming to kill us"

"Shut up!" walter yelt and then remembered that he was supost to be quiet. Fortunately for Wlat and Jesse the sunden outburst from Walt in the trunk reminded Mike on the outside that he was supost to be working for Grus. He had wandered off to a playgrand and was enjoying the swings with his small neece Kaelee.

"sORY Kayle" Mike said to his neise. "Grandma has to go take care of something. " Thankfuly Mike onle took Kayle e to parks in rich areas so she was in no dranger of jointing a gang like Brock's uncle while Mike took care of his busness.

Mike walked back to the car and plopped the trunk using his keyless entree. just as the trank opened Walts smokebomb went off and blended Mike. Unfortunently since Wallet and Jesse had goten bored while they were waiting for Mike to remembre what he was supost to do, they had shared there first kiss in the trunk of the car and now it was arkward between them. Wlat and Jesei were too bursy stamer ring to each other trying to make sense of there emotrons that the smoke bomb was totaly wasted.

Mike glared threw the smoke , still koffing from the lareg amount he had inhailed into his lungs. "What do you think you are doing he" axed ANGRILY.

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OH NO WHAT WILL AHPEN NEXT? STAY TUNED AND PLEASE REVWEW IT MEANS A LOT


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